Hypocrisy is dumb

 Listen pal, there's a difference between meeting your needs and being a total A-hole. You can still meet your needs and my needs at the same time. I have never detracted from your needs and have been the best girlfriend I have ever been to someone to you. It's not like my needs are real complex. Sure I need dancing bears with tutus and clown hats, but I know you can't meet that need. That's fine. What I need are these six things...
Things I Need In A Relationship:

1. Be my friend. Confide in me so I can confide in you. 
2. Be considerate. Hey, I'm in this too. (Hello...over here...yeah me, hi.)
3. Be communicative. Seriously. If you don't say it, I probably don't know.
4. Be affectionate. No need to smother me, but show you like me. 
5. Be vocally affectionate. People like to hear that they are attractive. It's not insecurity, it's biology.
6. Have sex with me. It doesn't have to be every night but Mama needs some lovin'.    

And really, that's it. Sure there are things like loyalty and honesty but those can be filed under Number One. Monogamy would fall under Number Two and probably would have already been decided by Number Three taking place.
I don't ask for much, just these six simple and easily fulfilled things. I ask that you follow the Golden Rule. I rarely get truly angry and almost never "freak out". It's just not my style. I'm really easy going.
BUT, quit punishing me for shit your young ex-girlfriend did. Quit trying to get back at her by being an ass to me.
Just needed to rant.