Best of Rikki Statuses

From March 3, 2013

I always feel bad when people tell me that Jesus died for me. Like somehow it was my decision/I was part of it. (Just an observation.)

                                                                    

I mean shit! Look at that^! I had nothing to do with crucifying him. 

Seems like an alright dude to me.

Rikki! Nooo!

A friend of mine posted the following as a facebook status:
"I'm a 60 year old man stuck in the body of a 12 year old Asian girl."

My response was:
"Sounds like a Dutchman went to Thailand for a vacation."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facepalm

Best of Rikki Statuses

From May 13, 2010,

As I was looking up the weather for this weekend, there was a sad little cartoon cloud. Heavy grey and blue drops falling from it as it predicted our weather. Directly to the right was a picture of Oranjestad, Aruba with a white sandy beach and turquoise water. I almost screamed.

Best Of Rikki Statuses

From January 13, 2010 (1 year ago today...)

Steven Seagal is actually a cop down in Jefferson Parrish Louisiana. This blows my mind.

Best Of Rikki Statuses

From January 13, 2013,

About to watch some youtube videos and teach myself how to knit. Hopefully, I will not become angry and no one will receive a needle in the eye. (At the end of the great yarn war of 2013, in a post-apocalyptic setting, we fade to Rikki amidst a large pile of yarn in various earth-tones. Dusty. Scattered. Orange-glow of a merciless sun pounding in the background. "I...have ...to keep...kn...itting. Some...one must..go..on.")

Best Of Rikki Statuses

From November 16, 2011,

Got dressed this morning and realized I look like a Starfleet officer. Maybe today isn't a total waste. Man, am I ever depressed. WTH?

Best Of Rikki Statuses

From November 16, 2011,

I believe I have mastered the double crochet. Look out, someone's getting a fuckin' scarf for Christmas.