C-4 and Other Romantic Ideas

I posted this on my FB wall and talked about C-4 and blowing bridges up because I mean business. Then I thought to myself: "gosh...I hope no one thinks that I actually destroy bridges. 

Onto what I really wanted to talk about...

Sometimes you need to burn bridges because some people don't deserve to have a place in your life. Why have someone in your life that treats you badly? See you around, (jerkface). 

But...

Perhaps you were supposed to be there. Perhaps you had a lesson to learn. 

Here's a lesson I learned (it finally took root):

when the guy you're dating starts telling you how hard it has been to get over his ex and talks about her often and talks about how much he loved her and intimate details...get out! Tell him to call you when he's over it, no matter how badly you wanted to date him, no matter how much you care, get out. Especially if he pays more attention to her "ghost" and the former relationship more than his current one. Never take a backseat. 

Don't stay in it and try to help him get over it. He needs to do that on his own. You are not his therapist. 

Spelling Lesson #1

I was never sure how to spell "the-mucus-you-cough-up". Apparently, it's loogie. L-O-O-G-I-E.
I was wondering. Perhaps you were, as well.

That Broasted Chicken Dinner

What is it about long car trips? It's like you've never smelled worse. It's like you ate an "Italian style" footlong (that's "eye-talian"), went running/cartwheeling/hot yoga-ing, and then didn't shower...for three days. How does that smell from the backseat happen?
You've also never felt worse. What happened? Oh...that Broasted Chicken Dinner happened. At that diner. In that town of 100 people. It was delivered to your table by Doris. And the CHEESE bread happened. So did onion rings. Snacks for the car ride. Coffee, lots of it. But it does nothing, so you're just tired with gut rot.
Then when you get to your destination; it's more anticlimactic than a fishing trip with Uncle Dave and his coin collecting stories..
For example you drive an incredibly long way to go to a raptor center...
Instead of being in awe of what fantastic creatures these birds of prey are; all you can imagine the birds doing is ripping the flesh of your trip-mates off with those talons.
"Do these birds go for the jugular?", you wish worry to yourself.

This is why I travel alone. My friends ask: "Aren't you scared?" "Isn't that dangerous?"
Possibly. That's part of the reason I do it.

Hypocrisy is dumb

 Listen pal, there's a difference between meeting your needs and being a total A-hole. You can still meet your needs and my needs at the same time. I have never detracted from your needs and have been the best girlfriend I have ever been to someone to you. It's not like my needs are real complex. Sure I need dancing bears with tutus and clown hats, but I know you can't meet that need. That's fine. What I need are these six things...
Things I Need In A Relationship:

1. Be my friend. Confide in me so I can confide in you. 
2. Be considerate. Hey, I'm in this too. (Hello...over here...yeah me, hi.)
3. Be communicative. Seriously. If you don't say it, I probably don't know.
4. Be affectionate. No need to smother me, but show you like me. 
5. Be vocally affectionate. People like to hear that they are attractive. It's not insecurity, it's biology.
6. Have sex with me. It doesn't have to be every night but Mama needs some lovin'.    

And really, that's it. Sure there are things like loyalty and honesty but those can be filed under Number One. Monogamy would fall under Number Two and probably would have already been decided by Number Three taking place.
I don't ask for much, just these six simple and easily fulfilled things. I ask that you follow the Golden Rule. I rarely get truly angry and almost never "freak out". It's just not my style. I'm really easy going.
BUT, quit punishing me for shit your young ex-girlfriend did. Quit trying to get back at her by being an ass to me.
Just needed to rant.